To Do

The baby started preschool last week making today the first day I’ve spent alone since the twins started kindergarten four years ago. Even then, I was carrying a child in my womb so I’m not exactly sure if that counts as alone. Either way, in the days leading up today, and even on this day, the trending response has been “so what are you going to DO with all your free time”? The first time I heard it, I was caught completely off guard. I think I may have made up something about substitute teaching to ease my way back into the classroom once they’re all in school (which is not at all feasible because baby’s only in school from 8 to 12). The next few times I went with a schpeel about growing my photography business. But this last time I heard it my response was “Not a damned thing. Or maybe a lot of things. I don’t really know”. And I don’t. And I feel good about it. The thing is, being introverted and easily over-stimulated makes for some difficult times raising small children. You need to be alone. And not like YAAAY, ME TIME AT THE SPA! but a lot more like IF I DONT GET 5 MINUTES OF QUIET TO PROCESS THE 40 BILLION THINGS I’VE SEEN AND DONE AND THOUGHT THEN I’M GOING TO LITERALLY LOSE GO INSANE. Denying myself that time has led to quite a few moments of hiding in my dark closet by evening time. The kids get it (especially B, who has his own closet hiding space). But it would be nice to get that time while they’re away so that I can be the best I can be for them for the remainder of the day. So what am I going to DO for the next several Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? I guess it self-care. That’s what. And a lot of that may include just being alone with my own thoughts before I’m greeted with an entire household full of thoughts. Today it included breakfast on a patio with hot coffee that I didn’t have to microwave 8 times, writing this post, driving the extra 5 minutes to Fiesta to get the good crab at great prices for Back-to-School Gumbo, and returning a pair of damages school pants in under 6 minutes. Though there is absolutely no schedule or deadline for these, there are actually quite a few things I plan to do over the course of the next year.

1. Make stuff: I have a long list of building projects that I’ve been waiting to tackle. I also haven’t sewn in years and would love to get back to that.
2. Yoga: I’m still recovering from surgery and will be for the next several months. I attempted a VERY brief practice recently and nope…my body is not ready. My abdominal area is still terribly tight and it’s now clear that despite my stubbornness I will HAVE to gently ease my way back into a steady practice.
3. Read: Books. With pages. And complex ideas. In less than 3 months per book.
4. Recover: I’ve had a few setbacks in recovery from overextending myself. I’m also long overdue for my second lymphatic massage provided by my surgeon to aid in circulation and reduce swelling (yes, I’m still swelling). I rescheduled the appointment 3 times this summer because something would come up with one of the boys or husband. So yeah, I can go now.
5. Volunteer: Just before I became pregnant, I was corresponding with a few local women’s shelters about volunteering my photography for some of their projects as well as offering newborn sessions to babies born in the shelter. I’d love to follow through with that plan.
6. Blog/Shoot: My brief period as a style blogger was a great one and I’d love to start that back. I only stopped because I had the baby which made it difficult to a) dress in a way that said “style blogger) and b) do anything cool. I miss shooting for fun (as opposed to work) and the little sparkle of joy every single subject expressed when I chose them to photograph and again when they saw their images always made my heart swell. Also, I lost all my old entries so it’ll be a fresh start.

I’ll keep you all posted.

The photos below are obviously unrelated to this post. They’re from Saturday – our last beach trip of the summer. It’s funny, literally every time I drag them to the beach we do the same dance.

Me: Take your shirt off for sunscreen

Them: We really don’t want to get in the water today.

Five minutes later…

Shoutout to my friend Rachel for inspiring me to try black and white beach photos. Until I saw hers, the idea was blasphemous to me.